Dating Again After the Breakdown Of A Long Term Relationship
Having a relationship end, especially a relationship that you wanted to work is difficult. The feelings of hurt, despair, devastation and emptiness that most people feel are very real, and they can make getting into a new relationship very difficult. It is because of this emotional struggle that makes it crucial that you deal with the issues that may arise from the breakdown of the relationship, before you attempt another one.
It is normal to have issues about being uncomfortable and unsure about getting back into the dating scene again, but after being depressed for a long time you might be ready to get out there. You can only do this if you have processed everything that has happened with your past relationship, because if there are unresolved feelings, it is going to be difficult to get into another relationship. Even if you are able to start one, the issues from your past relationship will interfere into the new one, which will further complicate things for you.
Traditional dating is hard and I would not recommend it for someone who has been out of the dating scene for a long time. Online dating brings the perfect opportunity, where you can remember how to date for success and re-learn all the tips that you need. You will also be able to set the pace in terms how quickly you want to move or how slowly you want it to progress, unlike with traditional dating where you might have the pressure of seeing this new person.
You may choose to be honest about what you have been through, so whoever chooses to get involved with you knows the kind of baggage that you may be carrying. If you are looking for something playful, be honest about that, so that you refrain from hurting someone who thinks there might be a chance to have something more with you.
In the quest of deciding what you want, you should take some time to know yourself again. People change in long term relationships, as relationships change who you are. All the compromise that you have made should be put aside so that you can do something that is uniquely you and that you want to do without thinking about someone else.
When you decide to get back into the dating scene, do not make the mistake of comparing your ex with someone new. It is a natural process, but be aware of yourself when you are doing it, and give the new person in your life a proper chance instead of judging them based on your ex girlfriend.
Refrain from talking about your ex girlfriend all the time, because it is definitely not a nice thing for the new person in your life. Focus on right now and having fun with whoever you are with, and you just might start to appreciate who they are in your life.
Remember to take it as easy as you want to, there is no hurry when it comes to dating, and with the many opportunities to meet someone you should not feel like time is running against you. You might be weary of entering a new relationship with the hurt of the previous one still fresh in your mind, so take it easy and be sure about what you want.
Take Your Ex Back, Is It A Good Idea?
The end of a relationship comes with a lot of heartache, and for most people it can also be a confusing time. It is easy to think about taking an ex back, even if the relationship was a bad one, just because the thought of being alone is scary. But if you do decide to take your ex back, it should be for the right reasons.
There are times when taking an ex back is not recommended, like if they were abusing you. In this instance, you would be crazy to take them back, especially if they did not go through the process of getting the help that they need. It is important to realize that some people will not change, even if they say that they will, and the best way to predict future behavior from someone is based on past or present behavior.
It is lonely to suddenly go from being in a relationship to being single. When an ex of yours is asking to come back, you need to think about the relationship and how it was for you. Think about whether your ex made you happy and respected you. Look at all the good things about that relationship, which will be the reasons why you would want to take them back.
On the other side of the fence, realize that the relationship did end, and at some point you thought walking away was the best decision for you. You need to zoom into the problems that caused the end of the relationship and you will need to tackle the issues that caused the breakup.
If your ex is serious about coming back into your life, they need to take responsibility for their part in why the relationship failed to begin with. If there are issues to be sorted out, then they need to commit to that and do whatever work that they should. It is important that they are accountable for whatever problems they brought into the relationship.
You can set some rules that can determine their coming back into your life. If your relationship was a good one overall, then there is no reason why you should not take your ex back. If the thought of them being in your life again makes you smile, then it is something that you should consider.
If you are looking for them to come back because you are totally dependent on them, then that is not a good reason to want them back in your life. The only reason you should want someone back should be because you love them, and you want to share your life with them, and because you feel they are the right person for you. It will only work if you are also the right person for them.
Ask yourself these questions; were you happy with them in your life? Are you both willing to compromise and work hand in hand to make the relationship what it should be? Is there love, respect and honesty in the relationship? Was there more good than bad in the relationship? Depending on some of these answers, then you should look at taking your ex back.
Make sure that before you take the plunge and welcome your ex back, you should sit down with your ex and have a heart to heart, and talk about the relationship. It is important that they want you back for the right reasons, and that you are taking them back for the right reasons, otherwise you will be setting yourself up for disappointment and hurt.