Dating Again After the Breakdown Of A Long Term Relationship
Having a relationship end, especially a relationship that you wanted to work is difficult. The feelings of hurt, despair, devastation and emptiness that most people feel are very real, and they can make getting into a new relationship very difficult. It is because of this emotional struggle that makes it crucial that you deal with the issues that may arise from the breakdown of the relationship, before you attempt another one.
It is normal to have issues about being uncomfortable and unsure about getting back into the dating scene again, but after being depressed for a long time you might be ready to get out there. You can only do this if you have processed everything that has happened with your past relationship, because if there are unresolved feelings, it is going to be difficult to get into another relationship. Even if you are able to start one, the issues from your past relationship will interfere into the new one, which will further complicate things for you.
Traditional dating is hard and I would not recommend it for someone who has been out of the dating scene for a long time. Online dating brings the perfect opportunity, where you can remember how to date for success and re-learn all the tips that you need. You will also be able to set the pace in terms how quickly you want to move or how slowly you want it to progress, unlike with traditional dating where you might have the pressure of seeing this new person.
You may choose to be honest about what you have been through, so whoever chooses to get involved with you knows the kind of baggage that you may be carrying. If you are looking for something playful, be honest about that, so that you refrain from hurting someone who thinks there might be a chance to have something more with you.
In the quest of deciding what you want, you should take some time to know yourself again. People change in long term relationships, as relationships change who you are. All the compromise that you have made should be put aside so that you can do something that is uniquely you and that you want to do without thinking about someone else.
When you decide to get back into the dating scene, do not make the mistake of comparing your ex with someone new. It is a natural process, but be aware of yourself when you are doing it, and give the new person in your life a proper chance instead of judging them based on your ex girlfriend.
Refrain from talking about your ex girlfriend all the time, because it is definitely not a nice thing for the new person in your life. Focus on right now and having fun with whoever you are with, and you just might start to appreciate who they are in your life.
Remember to take it as easy as you want to, there is no hurry when it comes to dating, and with the many opportunities to meet someone you should not feel like time is running against you. You might be weary of entering a new relationship with the hurt of the previous one still fresh in your mind, so take it easy and be sure about what you want.
